I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
