my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
