whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
