I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
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