who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
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This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
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