Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
