I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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