I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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