and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
