Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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