everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
