so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
