i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
