My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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