Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
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