im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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