I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Randomize
