I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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