Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Randomize
