I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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