When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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