i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
