we have officially lost it.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
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Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
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Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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