You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
