i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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