She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
