every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
