my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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