i jhust puked up my retainher.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Randomize
