and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
