Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
