We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
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