he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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