so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
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