Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
You can't just leave with hair like that
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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