you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
