friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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