I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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