Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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