let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
