real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize