I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
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