id be glad to
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Randomize
