She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
