everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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