So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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