sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize