Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I am mentally ready for anal.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize