dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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