If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
