I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
no, he came in my armpit
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
