SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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