did you get engaged???
why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
