I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
