Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize