Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
This beer is not sobering me up at all
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Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
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I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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