Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Randomize
