Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
