I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
pop tarts are not kleenex
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
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We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
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It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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