did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
