You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Randomize
