The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
