No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
