party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
