I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
