Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I just found a bag of teeth...
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
