I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize
