I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Houston, we have a squirter
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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